A boy and his turtle

Originally posted on Saturday, October 04, 2008 on myspace.com

Together, we are a family.
Separate, we are nothing.
That’s what ran through my head as you left.
I stared as you walked away, slowly.
I felt the emptiness grow as you moved further and further away.
Once you were out of my sight, I knew you weren’t coming back.
Ever since that day I brought you home, I had been attached to you.
You were my other half, you completed my thoughts.
I took you for granted.
I didn’t realize what I had.
You sweet, lovable turtle.
I wish my parents would have let me keep you.
You were my only friend.
My everything.

I should have made friends, but in school, everyone just felt so boring to me.
I’m that awkward kid who sits in the corner, reading by himself.
When I wasn’t reading, I would just listen and stare.
I bet you find that creepy.
I’ve studied what you people do.
I know how to be socially acceptable.
I know how to dress to the latest fashions.
I know how to get a girl.
I just don’t want to.
Is that so hard to comprehend?
I guess it may be.
I like deviating from the norm.
I like being different, although I have nobody who notices how different I am.
Not even a turtle anymore.

I suppose it’s stupid.
Loving a creature that is so much lower on the food chain than I am.
There’s just something about turtles.
Something that hits so close to home.
You know what I mean?
Turtles are silent creatures.
They are observers, just like myself.
When I found her in that mud puddle, so helpless.
It was love at first sight.

My mom doesn’t approve of pets, though.
I guarantee you if my mom had seen her, she would have started sneezing, or something.
She would have lied through her teeth about being allergic to her.
No, it was my dad who found her, my dad’s always been the softy.
When he saw her, he gave me the speech that any good dad should.
He looked at me and said,”I wish you could keep her, I really do; but you need to get rid of her, or your Mom will.”

I never gave her a name.
I’m not sure why.
It’s probably because I’ve always felt nameless myself.
I mean, seriously, I’ve been called “darling” or “sweetie” my entire life.
I’ve never had any friends to tell my name to either.
My teachers call me by name.
I’m so quiet they only ever have to use it on the first day, though.

A tear rolled down my face as I watched that turtle disappear.
It was the only thing I was truly affectionate about.
My parents are barely ever home for me to be affectionate toward them, and my friends…
I don’t have any.

I left the field I brought her to, and walked home in the twilight.
I looked at everything, like always.
It was all so vivid, a moment I will always remember.
Me, shuffling my feet down a residential street.
Tears streaming down my face.
The streetlights seemed to be clicking on as I passed them.
There wasn’t a car on the street.
The air was so still I could have sworn I was in purgatory.
Then a girl walked by, one that I could have known.
She looked at me and said,”Oh, Hi Brian. What’s wrong.”
In the most genuinely caring voice I had ever heard, and I looked at her.
But I started to cry more.
She knew my name.
I didn’t know hers.
But I wanted to know it at that moment more than I had ever wanted to know anything in my entire life.
My entire life.

“I’ve lost the thing I hold most dear to me.”
And she looked at me, confused.
And me, embarrassed.
“What is that?”
I couldn’t say anything more.
This was already too strange to comprehend.
People aren’t supposed to notice me.
And now I’m here.
And the same phrase continues to run through my head.

Together, we are a family.
Separate, we are nothing.


Author: rockymcg

sup a/s/l?

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