I don’t need a god

Originally posted on Sunday, June 22, 2008 on myspace.com

I don’t need a god.
God doesn’t need me.
If god needed me, wouldn’t he have told me by now?
I live my life outside the boundary of a religion.
Only I need to tell myself that I am inherently good.
I don’t need god to reassure me when I am deciding something.
I only reassure myself.
If you want to reassure me, go for it.
It will only help me to see that I don’t need a god.
I don’t need a god.
If you need a god, find him.
I don’t blame you for wanting that.
I could never judge you for needing that.
That constant.
As for now, I am my constant.
I follow myself.
I don’t need a god.

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Insomnia

Originally posted on Thursday, June 19, 2008 on myspace.com

Darkness.
I rather like the darkness.
It’s calming.
I can’t believe I was ever afraid of it.
I wish I could live my entire life in darkness.
Not in a morbid way.
Just, you know, peacefully.
The warm nights give me an enlightened feeling.
I can think, I can function.
I can’t during the hot day.
That’s why I sit here every night, I think.
I think I enjoy my sleep deprived enlightenment.

But you.

Originally posted on Monday, June 02, 2008 on myspace.com

I have a bad memory.
It is my choice to have a bad memory.
I don’t want to remember the past.
It already happened.
I choose to forget.
It makes it easier.
But you.
But you change me.
You make me want to remember that past as long as I can.
You make me want to hold onto that memory, and not let go.
I want to live in this past forever, never forget.
It is not my choice to have this memory.
But it will stay, engraved there forever.
It makes me want to cry, laugh, scream out.
I have never been this emotional.
I have never been this attached.
I state it negatively, because I don’t know how else to put it.
But it isn’t a bad thing.
It is one of the most euphoric things I have ever encountered.
I haven’t been this happy in a long, long time.